Aug 22, 2021 ⋅ 9 min read
How I take care of my well being... or at least try to
About ten months ago, I started to feel unmotivated, stressed and annoyed very often. I quickly became emotional and thought about little things until late at night. I couldn’t concentrate and was restless and driveless. At this point, I had been working from home for six months and felt like I could never switch off from work and every day felt like the other (thanks to social distancing and lockdowns). I realised I wasn’t doing well and thought about how I could improve my work-life balance and set more boundaries to force myself to focus on things other than work again. I tried to remind myself that work isn’t the only thing that defines my worth.
Take it easy and care more about yourself.
Since then, a lot has changed in my life. I quit my job in February, took some time off and finally started a new job two months ago. Before I started my new job, I had big plans and wanted to do everything better this time, but it turns out that I still struggle to take care of my wellbeing from time to time. I guess it just takes time to get used to my new routines, but the start has been made. I have found out what is good for me and what helps me to relieve stress and feel more focused.
Get Enough Sleep
I need quite a lot of sleep to feel relaxed and ready for the next day, about 8-9 hours a night. If I don’t get enough sleep, I feel tired, demotivated and grumpy. I try to make sure I get enough sleep. So I set up the bedtime reminder on my iPhone to remind me that it’s almost time to go to bed. It also activates the "do not disturb" mode on my phone, so I don’t pick up my phone as much in the evening.
How’s it really going at the moment? I’m tired most of the time. I sleep about 8.5 hours, but in the evening I usually fall asleep on the couch. Then I’m too awake to fall asleep when it’s time for bed. Yeah, it’s complicated 🙈 I always look forward to the weekend to catch up on my sleep. I guess the adjustment of going back to work full time and starting a new job after my time off is exhausting and it takes me a few months to get used to it again.
Set Boundaries
I try not to install any work-related apps on my personal phone. That means I don’t set up work emails and I don’t install Slack on my phone. I only answer work-related mail and messages from my Macbook and during my working hours. I’m glad I don’t have to be on call. I also try not to open my Macbook outside of work hours. I’m lucky that I have two different devices, one for personal stuff and one just for work. This means that I can really put the work device away after work and focus on other things in my free time.
How’s it really going at the moment? I’m very strict about having work-related apps on my phone and uninstalled Slack from my personal phone years ago (that was in late 2017 and I’ve never regretted that decision). But I could be stricter and not open my work Macbook outside of work hours. Since I only started two months ago and there are so many new things happening there, I sometimes feel too tempted to just take a quick glance at something that comes to mind and then I spend half an hour reading Slack messages.
Because of my work as a mobile developer, I use my Macbook and my phone a lot. But I also spend a lot of time on my phone after work. I wanted to reduce my screen time to be more in the moment, reduce the time I spend on social media and maybe read books again from time to time (which I love but often lack the time for). The iOS screentime feature to lock apps after a certain amount of time of use didn’t help me much. When I was bored and saw the app icon on my home screen, for example Twitter, I just wanted to see if there was anything new, so I opened it and just skipped the screentime alert. What helped me more was to uninstall apps completely or remove them from my home screen. If I don’t see the app anymore, I don’t think about it so much during the day.
How’s it really going at the moment? Great! I check Twitter once or twice a day from my iPad or personal Macbook and have got used to it. It means I no longer feel like I’m missing out on important information. I’d also like to delete Instagram (my second most used app), but I can’t upload Stories from the website, so I installed the app to be able to upload a few pictures from time to time, but the app is hidden on the home screen.
Be Unavailable from Time to Time
I always have the "do not disturb" mode on my work computer activated and the sound on my iPhone always turned off. I reply when I have the time and am not focused on something else. I do not want to be disturbed by notifications.
How’s it really going at the moment? Great! I’ve actually been doing this for years and I’m so used to it that it confuses me from time to time that some people have their sound on and respond immediately to notifications.
I love having at least one meeting-free day per week. On those days I feel very productive and get so much done! If you are not as lucky as I am to have a day without meetings, you can try blocking out a few hours in your work calendar for focus time. During this time you can work on something without interruption. This is visible to everyone, and if someone wants to schedule a meeting during this time, they will see that you are not available.
To avoid being interrupted, I usually close apps that might interrupt me. I close Slack. I close my emails. I activate "Do Not Disturb" mode and reply to my messages when I’m done with my task. But I would inform my team about it during the daily standup, write a short message in the team channel and/or block the time in my calendar. It’s perfectly fine not to respond to everything immediately. Almost everything can wait until tomorrow or next week or after your holiday. You’ll be surprised that even some requests will be solved by themselves 😄
How’s it really going at the moment? Honestly, I sometimes end up in meetings on the meeting-free day, but that’s fine. I also do a lot of pair programming on those days, but I wouldn’t count that as a meeting. I really enjoy spending the day working in my sweatpants on the couch and don’t have the pressure of having to talk to someone when I don’t want to.
Take Breaks and Move
I always know I haven’t moved enough after a long day when I have back pain and feel drained. To prevent this, I try to take breaks every now and then and actually get up from my desk to move around a bit. The best way to clear my head after work is to go for a walk in the fresh air (or go swimming). Sometimes I can do this during the day, for example after a meeting or during my lunch break. The activity helps me think about something other than work and I come back to my desk more open and refreshed.
How’s it really going at the moment? Pretty good! Since the pandemic, I’ve been walking a lot and I love it. I enjoy going for a walk after work and I manage to do it almost every day. If I do it right after work, I have more success. If I’m already tired lying on the couch, I need a lot of motivation to get up again and go outside. But during the working day, it would help me to take even more breaks and actually get up from my desk.
Start Meditating
I started meditating six months ago and wish someone had advised me to do it earlier. It would have helped me a lot to manage my stress and focus more on my well-being. I try to do a 10-minute meditation with 7Mind once a day. I can especially recommend meditating to calm down after meetings, to sort out your thoughts or to end the working day and get some distance from work.
In the months I was unemployed, meditation helped me a lot. There was a lot of uncertainty and I was nervous about the upcoming changes in my life. It helped me to be more aware of the moment, to be mindful, to focus on myself and my surroundings and also to just do nothing for a few minutes.
How’s it really going at the moment? If I don’t have time to do my meditation, it’s even more important to do it because that means I’m under stress and meditation would help me slow down, breathe deeply and focus on the moment to eventually relieve stress. That’s the theory, but I’m already happy if I find the time and motivation to meditate for 10 minutes once a week. I don’t manage to find time for it regularly during the day. Sometimes it’s hard to find 10 minutes just for me. I make it a priority to focus on it more, because I know it would help me a lot to relieve stress and feel more relaxed.
Conclusion
All these things help me feel better in everyday life. But I sometimes struggle to do them. Writing about them has reminded me to keep working on them every day until they become my new routine. So, take it easy, take a deep breath and take care of yourself. 🧡
Things are hard right now for so many. At this point I’m trying to remind my team members in every team meeting and every 1:1: Take vacation. Take mental health days. Take CARE of yourselves. It doesn’t matter if the bug is fixed if YOU are broken. — Sommer Panage (@Sommer), August 17, 2021